


Anthropology of Fire

by achillesep



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan
Genre: Angst, Blood and Injury, Character Study, Depression, Friends to Lovers, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Leo Valdez Needs a Hug, M/M, Mystery, Post-Canon, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Road Trips, Slow Burn, i promise !!, okay this sounds really sad but, there are happy moments !!
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-28
Updated: 2020-10-28
Packaged: 2021-03-09 04:47:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,933
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27239047
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/achillesep/pseuds/achillesep
Summary: “Scarlet stars shine above Jason and he can’t breathe. His hands, a weapon. His hands, covered in golden ichor as the body of a god, a Titan, slumps at his feet.He’s horrified.”In a world where the events of HoO never happen, Jason, Leo and Piper become friends after the Titan War. But two years later, Piper mysteriously disappears on a quest, and while looking for her, Jason and Leo grow closer as they re-examine their own pasts, Jason slowly realizing his feelings for Leo as something stalks them in the distance..
Relationships: Jason Grace & Octavian, Jason Grace & Piper McLean, Jason Grace & Reyna Avila Ramírez-Arellano, Jason Grace/Leo Valdez, Piper McLean & Leo Valdez
Comments: 13
Kudos: 29





	Anthropology of Fire

**Author's Note:**

> this is mostly a character study plus the expansion of nature vs nurture as a concept in hoo bc i thought it’d be interesting. plz look at tags for trigger warnings, some parts are kinda graphic but not much much worse than canon. also in case u didn’t read it in the summary, hoo didn’t happen but jason is at CHB which will be explained

Scarlet stars shine above Jason and he can’t breathe. His hands, a weapon. His hands, covered in golden ichor as the body of a god, a Titan, slumps at his feet.

He’s horrified. 

In that moment, glory was a volatile thing and if this was the price of it, Jason didn’t want it. He had electrified and burnt off Krios’ arm, clawed at his throat until it bled, yanked off his ram’s horn and stabbed him with it and it _was_ for the good of demigods. But the feeling that comes with knowing that this is what he was capable of, that this is what he is made for, it’s all too much. It’s been bred into him, drilled into him, and where Jason should feel proud he only feels empty. He’s carried out his orders and he knows that he had to, but Jason doesn’t want this. Not really.

When he turns around, half of his legion is dead. He was responsible for them, he was meant to lead them, but the loss is overwhelming.

Jason doesn’t realize it yet, but all immortals are just corpses, however much they can bleed.

What is a dead thing? Something unchanging, something that can’t grow. It’s what separates humanity from godliness, the metamorphosis we go through on a daily basis. Growth is what makes our lives worth it. Jason hasn’t realized this yet.

The few demigods that are alive are tending to each other’s wounds as Jason stands over Krios’ body. 

He feels a hand on his shoulder and he grabs it on instinct, placing a knife to the other’s throat. 

When he realizes it’s Reyna, he puts his hand down and apologizes. She waves it off, mostly because she does the same thing sometimes—it’s who they are. 

Reyna tells him that thirty-two out of the forty demigods that were supposed to accompany them are dead, and this isn’t surprising to Jason. It looks even worse than that, and more will probably fade out from their wounds in an hour or so. 

He accepts the losses because it’s what he’s been taught. If the lives of some have to be sacrificed to save the whole, then so be it. But there’s a nagging guilt seeping in and stabbing at his heart and he can’t ignore it. 

It will consume him. 

For now, he forces pride to tingle and rattle in his chest as he looks at the body of the fallen god. It’s sick. He completed his goal, he’s served his purpose and he’s proud. He’s trying to be proud. He really is. But looking around him, he wants to throw up. 

_Was it worth it?_

“Jason?” Reyna asks. There’s a distinct worry in her eyes that’s new, not the one she usually has reserved for Jason. This one is sadder—like she’s grieving.

Jason can’t process all this death. It’s hard for him to believe that these people, his friends, his colleagues are all gone. Was it worth it? Jason, would you be able to look someone, anyone, in the eyes and tell them you’re proud of today?

“I’m leaving.” He doesn’t even realize what he’s saying until he hears his own voice say it.

Reyna frowns. “Where are you going?” 

“I…” Jason starts. “I don’t know.”

Reyna turns and nods, and then the dream changes from memory to nightmare.  
She grabs him by the throat and slams him against the ground. 

“You abandoned me,” she says. Jason can feel his eyes brimming with tears.

He wakes with a start.

The ceiling of the Zeus cabin is flashing with lightning when Jason jolts out of sleep. 

It’s been two years since the Titan War, since Jason killed Krios at the price of his legion. It’s been two years since the Greek and Roman camps met, and two years since Jason left Camp Jupiter. Two years since he met Leo and Piper. 

The truth is, he thought leaving New Rome would make all this grief easier. And it has, really. The guilt has eased too, but the memories don’t help. Every night it’s a routine: go to sleep, remember every horrible thing that has happened to him, wake up. He’s tired of it.

Jason just wants to be something more than this, wants to be something that resembles a person. 

He wants to fix everything in order to fix his own guilt.

It’s not a very realistic goal. 

///

Here’s the thing:

In another universe, in another time, Jason and Leo are happy. They don’t get the war, the fighting, the sadness that comes with it. But demigod’s lives are hardly fair, and in this universe they’re even less so.

In this universe, Jason lives through the Titan War only to watch everything fall apart again. 

He’s really hoping he can pick up the pieces. 

He doesn’t know what he’ll do if he can’t.

///

Jason vividly remembers the night before Piper left. The sun was low and orange in the sky as crickets sung in the tall, yellow grass surrounding the training grounds. 

His skin was sweat-slicked and his arms ached, the soles of his feet burning with every strike he made against the straw dummy. Fighting, for him, had always been a form of catharsis; with every shallow breath and strained move, it reminded him that he was alive. 

Piper approached quietly and sat on an overturned log, brushing raven-black hair out of her face.

In a flash, Jason put his sword in its sheath.

“Hey, Sparky,” Piper said, smiling nervously. 

Jason wiped some sweat off of his brow and trudged over to her. “Hey.”

Piper just sat quietly as the sun cast its rays across her deep brown skin, making it appear as if it had been gilded in amber. 

“All of your quests...they’ve gone smoothly, right?” Piper asked.

Jason bit his tongue.

“Before and during the Titan War, no. Monsters would wait for us around every corner, and every time someone left camp there would be something waiting for them,” Jason said. “But now...I’m not so sure. I’d assume things would be better now, but…”

Piper knotted her brows into something worried. “Yeah, of course. I’ll keep on the lookout.” 

“Sorry, I—”  
“No, it’s fine.” Piper smiled weakly. “You Romans never sugarcoat anything, which is good. I appreciate it, Jay.” 

Jason smiled in return, but it didn’t meet his eyes. “Of course.” 

The both of them stared out onto the horizon, the sun making its dip into the night.

In the corner of his eye, Jason could see the faint shaking of Piper’s hands. She stuffed them into the pockets of her jacket.

Everything seemed to still in that moment.

The wind stopped, the faint chirping of crickets and rustling of grass quieted.

“Something feels wrong to you too, doesn’t it?” Piper had asked. She looked at him with curious, nearly-black eyes. Her voice was honeyed and sweet as always, but Jason could hear worry seeping through.

“Yeah,” Jason agreed. “A Cyclops sighting in the middle of nowhere, no prophecy, and Chiron didn’t even tell us who he’s sourcing for this. It doesn’t make sense.” 

Piper nods and her shoulders relax. “That’s what I was thinking too. I don’t exactly want to go, especially…”

“If Chiron’s hiding something, since it could drastically affect the outcome of your actions,” Jason finished. 

“Exactly.” Piper’s gaze turned fierce as she stared out at the fading sky. 

Jason leaned forward, resting his elbows on his thighs. 

“I wish I could come with you,” he said. 

Piper placed her hand on his and squeezed it. “Me too, but...it’ll be good for me to try something on my own. Plus Katie, I guess, but you know what I mean.”

“I do.” 

Piper stood and shook some dust off of her pants. 

“I’ll miss you and Leo,” she said. 

“You’ll be back soon,” Jason replied. He’d never been particularly good at comforting people, but he figured he’d try. 

Piper paused. Something was on the tip of her tongue.

“Yeah,” she said.

The soft, dark blue night swallowed the harsh oranges of the sunset. 

“Come on, let’s head back. You need a shower anyways,” she teased. 

Jason was too distracted to respond.

From the very beginning, something was weird about this ‘quest’. 

Jason wouldn’t forgive Chiron for it.

///

Four days after Piper left, Chiron calls Jason and Leo into the Big House. They hadn’t been able to contact her for the past two days; no Iris messages were going through and there were no messages from above signaling she and Katie were okay. Jason wasn’t sure what to do if she wasn’t okay. 

He’s really hoping she is.

Jason hates the Big House; every time he comes near it his whole body tells him to run, that the baby blue paint and white trim is really a facade for something more sinister, and stepping inside it makes him feel like he’s a fly hurtling himself directly into a spider’s web and he knows it’s because he’s not Greek, he’s Roman, but it’s not like the knowing really helps.

His skin crawls with discomfort.

Leo’s eyes are blanker than usual as the both of them sit on the living room couch.

In moments like these, something in Jason sinks because the energy is gone from Leo—his usually glowing and bright eyes are grey-ish, the fiddling he does with his hands is more manic, and the bags under his eyes are more pronounced, purple-ish.

Jason’s so lost in thought that he doesn’t even notice when Chiron enters.

“Jason, Leo,” Chiron starts. “I assume you know why I’ve brought you here today?”

Leo’s leg won’t stop bouncing. “Did something happen to Piper?”

Chiron folds his hind legs into his wheelchair. “I am unsure of that. Yet I can only feel as if something has gone...sideways.” 

No shit.

Jason stays quiet, watching and analyzing. 

“Well, yeah,” Leo scoffs. It’s unusually rude of him.

They’re all on edge it seems.

“I think I speak for both Leo and I when I say that we want to do whatever we can to help Piper,” Jason says. “And we’ll try and follow her trail regardless of what you tell us now. So—why did you want us here?”

Leo glances at Jason and Jason can see that a little bit of the light has returned to Leo’s eyes.

“Yeah, come on man,” Leo says. “We’re not giving up on her.” 

Chiron sighs as the wrinkles on his skin seem to deepen. “I was not going to suggest anything of the sort. There’s been no prophecy about Piper’s quest, nor one regarding what will be yours, but I am urging you to look for her.”

Something sparks in Leo’s eyes, a familiar fire. 

“Someone of her and Katie’s skill level are highly unlikely to be dead, but it is possible they have been abducted, or something similar. Whatever the case, it must not be serious considering we’ve received nothing on it.”

It’s uncharacteristically ignorant of the centaur to say such things; everyone knows that demigods disappear all the time, quest or no quest. 

But Leo’s starting to smile at this new hope, so Jason shoves the thought into the back of his mind.

“What do you suggest we do?” Jason asks carefully. He’s glaring at Chiron, mostly because it’s his fault Piper went on this quest in the first place, and because he’s clearly hiding something. Chiron knows something’s off as well, Jason knows that he’s not that stupid. Yet he still ignores it, and chooses not to tell Jason and Leo what it is. 

“Visit Iris and try and figure out why you can’t contact Piper or Katie,” Chiron says. “And perhaps Aphrodite or Apollo would provide you with some help, but, well…”

“We’ll find them,” Leo says hastily. 

Jason frowns. “And where would we find Iris?”  
Chiron unfolds a map that lies on the coffee table in front of them, searching it for a moment before placing a finger on it. He raises it to show to them.

“Woodstock, Vermont,” Chiron says, handing them the map. “It should only be a couple hour’s drive.” 

Leo smiles nervously. “Alright, we’ve got a lead! Jay, pack your bags and get ready to hit the road.” 

It sounds genuinely optimistic, and it lifts Jason’s spirits a little. Leo always fills Jason with this feeling of light; the way Leo talks, the mischievous lilt in his voice, his slow drawl when he’s talking about something serious, his laughter like bells—Jason could listen to it forever.

“Be careful,” Chiron says. Jason nods. 

Leo reaches for Jason’s hand and tugs it, pulling him out of the room. Jason can’t help but feel a certain fondness from the act.

///

The air conditioner in the van is broken, and the late May temperature makes Jason sweat. His black t-shirt sticks to his back and his hands are clammy against the steering wheel. Leo sits besides him, seemingly unaffected; he’s drawing some kind of blueprint, curled up with his knees to his chest and the drawing pad on his angled thighs. It’s peaceful, and for a second Jason can pretend that this is just a road trip, not the two of them searching for their missing-in-action best friend in a world where monsters are always out for their blood. 

“What’re you thinking of making?” Jason asks. 

Leo drums his pencil against the drawing pad. “Prosthetic legs for Jake, ‘cause of that incident with Festus, you know?”

Jason nods. 

Some wounds can’t be healed by ambrosia.

“I think I’ve got the parts right but I don’t really want to just start making it, you know?” Leo continues. “‘Cause that’d be, well, really bad if I wasted some more Celestial Bronze and then Nyssa’d get mad, yada yada yada.” 

Jason smiles. “I’m glad you’re in, ah, better spirits.” 

“Of course!” Leo grins. “For a bit I thought Chiron was calling us in there to tell us Piper, I dunno, _died_ or something. But she’s fine! We’ve just gotta figure this out and everything’ll be okay.” 

Leo’s optimism worries Jason; he tends to have a one track mind on some things, especially with machines or something someone says that can be interpreted as negative. Jason knows that things tend to affect Leo more than he lets on, but this, surprisingly, isn’t—he’s not worried at all, not like he was an hour ago. He’s completely set in his belief that they can find Piper.

Jason wishes he had that much confidence, but he’s always analyzing, predicting. He figures there’s about a twenty percent chance Piper’s alive, which is too low for his comfort.  
But maybe Leo’s right. Leo’s never going to give up on Piper, and that should be enough. 

“Yeah,” he agrees. 

In the corner of his eye, he can see Leo beaming. 

///

They stop at a McDonald’s along the way because it’s fast and it’s cheap, and although Chiron let them use the camp credit card (which is paid for by magic, although Jason’s not sure if that’s legal or not), they’re hesitant to blow too much money. The inside is a plain white with ugly, puke-green accents, and a floor half-covered in grime. It smells of french-fries and sweat. 

Leo laughs at Jason’s pained expression.

They order nuggets and fries, nothing special, and sit in a booth near the back corner. Jason keeps an eye on the entrance. 

“So,” Leo starts, plopping a fry into his mouth. “What’s the plan, Sparky?” 

“We should ask Iris what could be interfering with messaging Piper, like Chiron suggested.” Jason takes a sip of his water. “Then we should try and follow their path down to New Mexico. Last we talked with Piper, she was in Tennessee, right?” 

“Hmm, yeah,” Leo hums. He brushes some curly, dark hair out of his face and Jason feels something flitting around his chest. 

“Uh, well,” Jason starts. “We should head down whatever highway connects New York and New Mexico through Tennessee, and stop along the way. Just to see if they could’ve gotten sidetracked.” 

“Sounds good, dude,” Leo says. 

Once Jason surveys that there isn’t anyone in earshot, he asks, “What weapons did you bring?” 

“M’ throwing knives and that crossbow Jake made recently.” 

“He didn’t mind you using it?” Jason asks. 

Leo smiles mischievously and it makes Jason’s heartbeat a little faster. “Maybe. But he doesn’t exactly know that I borrowed it.” 

“ _Leo_ ,” Jason says. Leo leans back in his seat and stretches. 

“What? It’s not like he’s going to use it anyway, what with him never leaving camp or training, like, ever,” Leo grins crookedly.

Jason huffs and shakes his head at the other boy. “Fine, I guess.” 

If it were anyone else, Jason would have chewed them out for using another legionnaire’s weapon and how it could cost the other their life. Jason wouldn’t have hesitated to report them to higher command and make them face the consequences.

But this is _Leo_. 

Jason folds up his trash and collects Leo’s.

“We should get back on the road,” Jason says, walking towards the trash can.

Leo salutes as he hops out of his seat. “Aye aye, captain.” 

As they walk to the van, a careful pair of eyes watch them from a distance.

///

Woodstock is the most picturesque and peaceful town Jason has ever seen. Its gently sloping hills and thick, green forests with its red brick and victorian-esque houses give it a sleepy feeling, and Jason can’t help but feel a tug on his heart from the tranquility of it all. If Jason ever got the chance, he’d want to settle down in a town like this, live out the rest of his days on a rocking chair on a porch, sell strawberries at the farmer’s market as he shelved books at the local bookstore. 

But that would never work; he’s a magnet for horrible things, after all. 

He looks over at Leo’s sleeping form and is filled with fondness for the other boy. Leo deserves this life; Leo knows how to be a person, underneath it all. 

Jason drives around the town, searching for a shop that had anything to do with rainbows, or Iris. 

While he’s waiting at a stop sign, a woman knocks on his window. He hesitantly rolls it down, nudging Leo in order to wake him up. 

“Hello?” he asks. The woman looks at him quizzically.

“You’ve driven past this road five times now, kiddo,” she says. Her cropped black hair and pale skin remind Jason vaguely of Thalia, except older, which Thaila will never be.

“Oh, I uh, didn’t realize it.” 

Leo sits up and rubs his eyes. 

“Are you looking for something? I might be able to help,” the woman asks. 

“Oh yeah,” Jason starts. “Do you know any place that deals in...rainbows?”

That wasn’t a good way to phrase it.

Leo’s apparently awake enough to snicker besides him.

“Is that a, a—I don’t know, a code for something?” the woman asks, clearly confused.

“No, no—”  
“If it is then well, Woodstock’s pretty accepting of that kind of thing,” the woman continues. 

Fuck, Jason does not want to hear this right now. 

He may not be entirely sure what he is, but that’s only more reason to shove it all down. Jason ignores Leo’s grin. 

“Good to hear,” Leo yawns and then dramatically places a hand on Jason’s shoulder, squeezing it. Jason hates himself for blushing. 

“No, sorry I—I meant something along the lines of rainbow...art? Glass?” Jason continues. He can hear Leo’s quiet laughing, which is not doing anything to help the situation. 

The woman continues to stare at him blankly.

“Leo come on, help out,” Jason whines. Leo’s grin stretches from ear to ear.

He leans forward in his seat and drops his hand from Jason’s arm. It makes Jason strangely disappointed.

“Listen lady, we’re not gay lovers,” he says. “Jay’s aunt here though, is a big fan of rainbows—the real kind though, not the homosexual kind. She has a store up here, we know that but uh—”  
“Oh!” The woman says. She grimaces. “Sorry, I—”

“No worries!” Leo replies nonchalantly. “We just get that a lot, right Jay?” 

Jason can feel his face burning as Leo laughs at his pained expression. 

“Oh, well—there’s a shop like that up Barnard Road, right before the trailhead,” the woman says. “You got a map?” 

Jason nods and hands it to her, the woman taking a pen out of her purse. He turns towards Leo and mouths, _I hate you_. Leo’s smile grows larger somehow, his eyes burning with life. 

“Here you go.” The woman hands Jason the map, with one area of road circled. It looks to be only a couple miles away.

“Thank you,” Jason says stiffly. 

“Of course.” 

He rolls up the window and starts driving as Leo bursts out laughing in the passenger seat.

“Gods, that was so funny,” Leo chuckles. “Jason Grace, slayer of Krios and son of Zeus, rendered useless by homosexuals.” 

Jason wants to jump out of the van. 

“Son of Jupiter, and shut up,” he mumbles, but he’s smiling.

“You’re blushing! Oh gods, I can’t believe it,” Leo laughs loudly and Jason could listen to it forever. “I’m going to use this later. Wow, this is amazing.” 

Jason wants to hold onto this forever, this feeling. Happiness. He’d throw away his life for a taste of it. 

Leo switches on the radio and looks out the window, still smiling.

  
  


The moment rattles through Jason’s brain: the feeling of Leo’s hand on his shoulder, the sound of Leo’s laugh, the word he tries not to think about. 

He tries to focus on the mission instead.

///

Jason peers into one of the large, glass windows of ‘Rainbow Organic Lifestyle’. The shop appears to be empty—no customers, and Iris is nowhere in sight. Glass windchimes hang from the roof, reflecting the light and scattering rainbows across Leo’s face and arms, and when Jason looks down he sees the small, multicolored spots on him too. A neon pink sign hanging against the window reads _Open_ , so Jason pushes the door open and walks into the shop. 

A small bell chimes as he and Leo enter. There’s a large skylight above them, allowing natural light to flood the room, as well as this odd feeling of calm. It smells faintly of flowers and Jason can hear the soft rushing of water somewhere in the shop. 

“Oh, hello hello!” says a voice like soft rain and whistling wind. Jason turns to face its source.

The owner of the voice is a seven foot tall woman with pale, nearly translucent, cloudy white skin. Her hair is silver and in the light it reflects gold and pink and green all at once like nothing Jason’s ever seen before. She wears a plain outfit, a pale blue tank top and sweats with running shoes, but her gorgeousness makes it seem like it’s the most unique outfit in the world—yet her eyes unnerve Jason. They’re pale blue, so much so that it nearly blends in with her sclera, with small gold flecks that shimmer. Something about them pierce through him. 

“Are you the goddess Iris?” Jason asks. Leo is curiously inspecting the rest of the shop, with its homemade water pitchers and vegan snacks. 

“Yes,” the goddess says. “And you are?” 

For some reason, Jason expected her to know. 

“Jason Grace. This is my friend Leo.”

The goddess’s eyes flash an electric blue then a blazing red and Jason instinctively places his hand on the hilt of his sword, but the moment passes as quick as it came. 

Leo beams and sends a choppy wave towards the goddess’ direction. Jason realizes that Leo’s never done this before, never talked with a god; he feels awkwardness surrounding the other boy. 

The goddess motions for the two of them to follow her, and they do, walking through the store’s pristine, multicolored, aisles until they end up in a back room. The only thing in the room is a perfectly clean picnic table with a water pitcher centered on it. 

Iris flicks her wrist and two empty glasses move onto the table, in front of where Jason and Leo begin to sit. She fills it with water from the pitcher slowly. 

“I wasn’t expecting you,” Iris says. “Although I assume you two are on a quest of some sort?” 

“Yeah,” Leo chirps. “We’re looking for our friend, Piper; and uh, the girl she left with, Katie.” 

Iris nods, summoning a glass of nectar for herself.

“We haven’t been able to contact her,” Jason says. “And we were wondering if you would know anything about why.” 

Iris takes a slow sip of her nectar before setting the glass down and pursing her lips. Leo’s leg bouncing leg shakes the table.

“I can tell you already that there are only five ways a message would be blocked:

First, it’s blocked purposefully by an immortal, god or otherwise; anyone with enough power to do so.”

That wouldn’t make any sense. Piper hasn’t crossed anyone, and she and Katie were on their way to investigate a Cyclops sighting; plus, there are no holy wars going on, no prophecies, so it would make little sense for a god to go out of their way to block Piper’s IMs. 

“Second, if the sender does not have a clear image of the recipient. However, if you are friends with Piper, I would assume you know her well. You should be able to send it, if your memory of her is strong in your mind. Third,” Iris continues, “if the recipient is in a place where there is no light at all—not just a dark room, but a place where light does not exist. But this only exists in Chaos and Night, so it would not be possible unless your friend decided to journey to Tartarus.”

Jason’s wracking his brain, trying to determine what could have happened based on this information. None of the conclusions he’s drawing are positive.

“Fourth,” Iris continues, “if they are in a vacuum of sorts. However, this would also imply that they are no longer alive, since mortals such as yourself can’t survive in a vacuum, unless a sort of suspension spell was cast. This brings me to the last reason—if they’re dead.”

Jason’s heart drops. He looks to Leo, whose expression is deep in thought like he’s working on a machine, or fixing a blueprint, not like he’s just been told that one of his best friends could be dead.

“That one you mentioned,” Leo starts. “The vacuum one. It’s possible, right Jay?”

Jason is hesitant to agree, and by the looks of it, so is Iris. Her eyes are full of pity and the light in the room has dimmed. 

“What did your friend leave camp for?” Iris asks. 

“To investigate a, uh, cyclops sighting,” Jason responds. Nervousness and worry buries its way into his head and his chest as he tries to think of a way Piper could be okay.

“Yeah but she didn’t make it all the way to New Mexico,” Leo says excitedly. “Which means she could’ve gotten abducted along the way by a sorceress or something, right? She’s okay, just in a vacuum, like you said. We’ll find her.” 

Jason can’t move. He wants to shake Leo and tell him to stop it, stop being so optimistic because what are the chances? Jason doesn’t want to give up on Piper either but Leo’s logic on this scares him. 

Iris looks as if she’s holding something on the tip of her tongue. 

“I would love to help you two more with this,” she says. “But I’m afraid I have little knowledge on where your friend has gone. If there had been a prophecy of some sorts, I would have been more useful, but fate’s strings are frayed for your friend. There are multiple paths she may have taken, and I cannot help you understand any of them.” 

Jason nods grimly. Leo still looks optimistic.

“We’ll find her,” Leo insists. His expression is bright, and it makes Jason hopeful, if only a bit. The rest of Jason is crippled with fear.

Iris only nods. 

“Is there a bathroom in here?” Leo asks. 

“Of course,” Iris replies. “Exit the room and turn right.”

Leo nods and stands. “Thanks.” 

“You’re welcome.” 

As soon as Leo is out of earshot, Iris sighs.

“Take care of your friend, Jason,” she says, and Jason can see in her eyes that she genuinely worries for the both of them.

“Yeah, I will,” he responds. He doesn’t need her to tell him that, mostly because Jason already puts Leo above everything else.

“It wasn’t your fault, you know.”

What?

Jason shivers despite the warmth of the room.

It’s a sudden tone-shift that unnerves Jason.

“What are you talking about?” he asks. Iris’ eyes turn completely white and he resists the urge to take a step back and run.

“Krios. Your legion, dead. You did the best you could.” 

Jason can feel his heart leaping into his throat as his hands grow clammy.

He doesn’t want to think about the war.

Not here.

Not now. 

“Why are you bringing this up?” He tries to sound calm but he can hear the harshness in his voice. 

Iris places a thin finger on his forehead and suddenly he’s thrown back there, back on the battleground before he kills Krios, with dracaenae on all sides and his legion surrounded.

Jason watches himself slice Krios’ arm.

Iris stands beside him, quiet. 

“Just like then, you must accept that you cannot save everyone,” she says.

What is that supposed to mean?  
“Do not feel guilty for trying your best, Jason.” Iris calmly watches the bloodbath unfold. “You cannot be absolved of a sin you did not commit.” 

The words bring Jason a sense of comfort, but only for the moment before he realizes Iris is trying to use magic to calm him; frustration and anger begin to replace fear. 

The scene shifts to him packing his things in New Rome, putting the few clothes and items he owned into a duffel bag. Reyna stands awkwardly in the doorway.

This was their goodbye. The both of them quiet, tense, on edge. 

“You left because you were seeking redemption,” Iris continues. “And you probably went on this quest for the same cause. So let me offer you this: change your objective: focus instead on saving Leo by any means.” 

The weight of her words weigh heavy on Jason.

_You left because you were seeking redemption._

_You left because you were seeking redemption._

_You left because you were seeking redemption_.

She’s right, but hearing it is an odd thing, a discomforting thing that Jason would rather avoid. He doesn’t want this goddess to be able to see him for what he really is: not enough. A coward.

“Saving Leo from what?” he asks coldly. It doesn’t phase her. 

“Jason, your guilt led you to Leo like a moth to a flame. My only advice to you is to protect him from himself; protect him from burning out.” 

Him and Reyna’s final hug plays out in front of him just as Iris tells him this. Jason feels as if there’s something there, a clue, but his anxiety blankets over his mind like a storm cloud. 

_You don’t know us_ , he wants to snap. But Iris is a goddess, no matter how minor. She could kill him in an instant and Jason wouldn’t have the chance to object. 

“How would you know all this?” he asks, trying his best to sound polite. “You didn’t meet us until about ten minutes ago. And even then, why know all this about me and Leo but nothing about Piper?” 

“I am no Hecate or Apollo,” Iris says, snapping her fingers and bringing them back to the present. “In regards to fortune, I can only see into the past rather than the crossroads of the future. Do you understand?”

As soon as Leo re-enters the room, Jason feels all the fight drown out of him.

“Yeah.” He stands, backing away from the table. 

The goddess meets his eyes and he feels like he can’t move. They’re looking through him, at him, judging the light in his soul. She blinks, and the illusion breaks.

Iris opens her mouth to say something but before she can finish, Jason interrupts her.

“Come on Leo, let’s head out.” 

She looks at Jason sadly.

“Oh, uh sure thing,” Leo says, opening the door for the other boy. 

Iris’ eyes feel as if they’re burning a hole into Jason’s back.

He ignores it, and instead walks towards the entrance with Leo. In one of the mirrors adorning the shop’s walls, Jason catches an image of himself.

His eyes are ice-cold and apathetic, his hands and body covered in blood as Leo’s dead body lies in his arms. He blinks and it changes to him, dead, Leo and Piper standing over his body. 

Instead of trying to figure out what it means, he walks a little faster out of the shop. If Leo notices, he doesn’t say anything.

///

It’s around nine o’clock when they decide to stop for the night near a campground in Pennsylvania. Fireflies dance around the forest surrounding them, the moon low and bright in the sky. Jason looks at it and can’t help but think that this is the same moon his sister watches every night, the same goddess she follows into battle. It calms his nerves, if only for a bit. 

Leo fell asleep in the car after messing with his blueprint for a few hours, and when he woke up he seemed...off. Scared, maybe. He’s been staring off into space with glassy eyes and Jason can’t help but be worried.

“Hey Jay! You got a lighter or something?” Leo calls out nervously.

Jason strolls towards the other boy and the stacked logs in the fire pit. 

“No, but I can use my lightning,” Jason says. He sits next to Leo then leans forward, pointing his index finger towards the wood. With little concentration, his finger sparks and the wood catches fire. 

Leo wolf whistles as Jason leans away from the pit. 

“You’re so lucky,” Leo says. “Your dad is, like, the almighty Lord of the Sky and you get to be a complete badass with your lightning thing.”

Jason snorts. “Yeah, definitely. My ‘lightning thing’—you have no idea how many times I just completely passed out doing that during practice. It was...pretty embarrassing.” 

“Hey! At least your dad’s, like, a king,” Leo says. “And you got amazing magic powers from him! All I got from mine is, haha, bad people skills and machines and...horribleness.” 

Jason looks at Leo, glowing in the firelight with a certain type of sadness.

“You don’t have bad people skills, Leo,” Jason insists. “Besides, what’s this horribleness you’re talking about? All I see is useful abilities with machines, which could be translated into a career.” 

Leo laughs and smiles. “I don’t have bad people skills with you, dummy. I’m awesome with you because…I dunno. You just...you’ve always cared I guess. _Wow,_ that’s pathetic.”

Jason quirks an eyebrow. “Me caring is pathetic?” 

“No! No, no that’s not what I meant.” Leo laughs nervously. “It’s fine, dude. Just…forget I said anything.”

“ _Leo_ ,” Jason says, smiling lightly at the other boy. He puts his hand on his shoulder.

“What?” Leo asks with a pretend-happy lilt in his voice. Jason has heard it enough to recognize it now. 

“You—you caring about what I think, what Piper thinks of you, that’s not pathetic. You know that, right?” Jason asks. He says it but he does the same thing; we all know how to reassure others of their goodness but not how to come to terms with our own flaws. 

“Yeah,” Leo says. “Don’t worry about it, big guy. Everything’s a-ok up here.”

Leo throws a stick into the pit and Jason feels as if he’s hallucinating. 

The stick couldn’t have caught fire before it reached the pit, couldn’t it? 

No, that doesn’t make any sense—Jason just needs to get some sleep. The endless road can do odd things to the mind.

He decides to focus on comforting Leo instead.

“You know…” Jason starts. “For the longest time, I thought that—that my dad was the coolest person ever, I guess. I don’t think I’m saying it right, but...Camp Jupiter worshipped him. It was all I knew, to hold him in the highest respect even though he’d never been there for me. And, well, he literally left me to the wolves and in some way I understand, but...coming to Camp Half-Blood, meeting you and Piper...I think it opened my eyes a little bit. None of the gods are perfect, not really.” 

Leo nods and then puts his head on Jason’s shoulder, just like he’d done a thousand times before, but it still feels Jason with this warm sensation. He’ll never tire of it.

“I think that, maybe, it does matter who our parents are,” Jason continues. “I mean, it’s the basis of our entire nature. But I think you, at least, are more than that. You’re not your father.”

It’s silent for a moment. 

“Thanks, Jay,” Leo whispers, and Jason wouldn’t have been able to hear it if Leo’s head hadn’t been right next to his ear. 

“Of course,” Jason replies, placing a hand in Leo’s hair and ruffling it.

The only sound to be heard is the sound of the crackling campfire. No crickets or squirrels, everything has quieted except for the swirling reds and oranges of the flame in front of Jason.

It’s beautiful, he thinks. 

“Leo, you know it’s okay to be worried about Piper, right?” 

Leo snorts. “I’m not worried about her, not really—I mean, she’s got us: me, the amazing genius, and you, the slightly-less-cool Titan killer. She’ll be fine.”

Jason hums in response as Leo continues to break apart twigs and throw them into the fire.

Before he can say anything else, a scream echoes through the forest, sending a chill down his spine. Both him and Leo spring to their feet. Jason places his hand on the hilt of his sword.

It comes from his eight o’clock.

Jason slowly turns and motions for Leo to get behind him. Leo does, hesitantly. He’s holding his throwing knives now, but it doesn’t look confident, not enough. It’s in the eyes. That’s what gives his fear away.

Jason prays whatever monster out there doesn’t notice it too.

“Stay behind me,” Jason orders. “Don’t wander off and stay silent, got it?” 

“Yeah,” Leo says. He grips the knife a little tighter as they walk into the forest.

It’s completely silent. 

He puts himself on high-alert, searching for a breaking of twigs, shifting of leaves—anything that could give away the attacker’s location.

The smell of blood travels through the air, meaning the body is close, closer than Jason would like. 

“It’s not human,” Jason says in a hushed tone.

“How do you know?”  
Jason frowns. “The smell. Can’t you sense it?” 

“No,” Leo replies. “Not all of us are crazy wolf people.” 

Jason continues to walk silently through the forest. Leo is surprisingly good at it as well, although he’s jumpier. 

Normally, Jason would be worried about the shine of his sword giving the two of them away, but the trees above almost completely block out light, and the further they walk into the forest, the harder it becomes to see clearly. 

There’s a feeling, a horrible feeling. That something’s watching them. Jason can feel a pair of eyes burn into his back and they’re most definitely not human either, judging by the feeling that surrounds them. It sets him more on edge than he’d like to admit. 

They pass a large tree and that’s when they see it—a gorgon’s body, head bashed in and pinned to an oak tree, the rest having clearly dissolved already. Perhaps ‘pinned’ is not the best way to describe it. The gorgon has been beheaded most likely through force, her head stuck in the tree because of the impact. 

“Oh gods,” Leo whispers. Jason looks back and can see his widened eyes, slightly agape mouth: Leo’s horrified. 

In the clearing they’re in now, there’s some light, which worries Jason. They could easily be spotted and it would be over, just like how it was for the gorgon.

He walks over to her body anyways. 

With a closer look, there’s no doubt about it—the head was severed not from a blade, but from sheer force. It’s an unclaimed spoil of war. Something kicked the gorgon’s head hard enough to dislodge it from its spine and lodge it into this tree.

He squats down and takes a closer look at the blood.

“It’s dried,” he tells Leo. “Meaning—”

“Whatever we heard scream, it wasn’t this,” Leo finishes. 

Jason nods grimly. “Yeah.” 

There’s a slight rustling behind them, quiet enough that Leo wouldn’t have been able to hear it—but Jason has trained for this his whole life. It’s more than enough.

Now that he’s noticed it, it smells like gorgon too, which is probably why he didn’t notice it when he saw the body. He thought the scent was from just this head, but he was wrong. 

He takes one of Leo’s throwing knives from the sheath on the other boy’s thigh and curves it so it hits the target behind the tree across from them. The hiss he hears is confirmation enough. 

Jason walks over to the hidden gorgon. 

Besides the throwing knife, she’s unwounded—yet she makes no move to escape. 

He presses his sword against her throat, pinning her to the tree.

“What killed your friend?” he barks. 

The gorgon is crying, he realizes. It doesn’t matter though, not really.

“Δεν γνωρίζω. Δεν γνωρίζω,” she says. 

_Fuck_. She assumed Jason was a Greek, but he doesn’t understand it.

“Leo, what’d she say?” he hisses. Jason presses into the gorgon’s neck enough for it to draw blood, but she doesn’t object. There’s a sense of terror in her eyes that Jason’s never seen in a monster before. 

“She doesn’t know,” Leo responds. 

“Then what are you so scared of?” Jason asks the gorgon. “It’s not us. I know that much.” 

The gorgon cries as she looks at her dead sister. 

“Δεν γνωρίζω. Δεν καταλαβαίνω τι θα μπορούσε να το κάνει αυτό.” 

“She says she doesn’t know,” Leo tells Jason. “She doesn’t know what could do that.” 

Jason examines the distraught gorgon one last time, then sighs. 

“Then she’s not useful to us,” he says, pressing his sword into her neck. With one swift move, the life drains out of her and she turns to dust, just like any other monster Jason’s killed. 

He wipes some of it off of his hands and face and onto his pants, then turns around to face Leo and head back in the direction they came.

“We need to get out of here,” he tells Leo. For a second, he realizes he sounds like Reyna. Cold. Direct. 

He begins to walk towards their camp and the car before he realizes Leo isn’t following him. He’s rooted to the spot, staring at Jason. 

“What is it?” Jason asks. Leo blinks. 

“Nothing,” Leo laughs nervously. “Just never seen you go bad cop before.” 

Jason reminds himself that this is Leo’s first mission—he doesn’t know the harshness required to survive. 

“Oh,” he responds. “Well, let’s get going.” 

“Yeah. yeah,” Leo says softly. The walk back to camp is silent. 

///

Jason and Leo stop for the night an hour away from the campgrounds, in a small town called Woodward. The motel they’re in is surprisingly clean, likely due to a lack of use. Leo flops onto the bed and starts drawing madly, sketching up another design but this one’s for Festus—an improved battery of some sort, that would help boost Festus’ processing power. Jason barely understands technology, so he just nods. 

“Which bed do you want?” Jason asks, taking a toothbrush and toothpaste out of his backpack. He sets them on the bathroom counter.

“I’m already in the left one, so,” Leo says. “They look the same to me anyway.” 

“Hmm, yeah,” Jason hums. He strips off his shirt and changes into a ratty old Camp Half-Blood one and into a pair of sweats. Leo has very dramatically turned his whole body in the opposite direction as Jason changes.

He shakes his head and smiles mildly. 

“You know you have it lucky at Camp Half-Blood,” Jason says. “At Camp Jupiter, we all just had to change in front of each other. There was no privacy.” 

Leo scrunches his nose and shakes his head. “Ew. I don’t think I’d survive.” 

Jason sits onto his own bed as he pushes his hair out of his face. It’s longer now, and if he didn’t always gel it up it would probably graze his eyebrows; in a weird way, he misses the cropped and ugly haircuts of New Rome.

“You’d be fine,” he says. Jason grabs his book from him and Leo’s shared nightstand, careful not to knock over the pens messily stacked on top of Leo’s messily stacked folders. Jason starts to read as the quiet hum of the air conditioner and Leo’s scribbling fades to the back of his mind.

///

It’s around eleven o’clock when Jason decides to brush his teeth. Leo’s still up, madly reviewing something Harley sent him, not even noticing when Jason gets up.

The bathroom mirror is spotless and Jason despises it. He doesn’t want to look at himself, not really; he spits the mixture of toothpaste and spit into the sink, ignoring his reflection.

Jason’s eyes are awful. They’re stone-cold and bright blue and cold and indifferent, nothing like the warm browns of Leo’s. He can’t meet them in the mirror. 

When he walks out of the bathroom, Leo’s put his things away and is now sitting cross legged on his bed, lost in thought. Jason switches off the light, leaving only the dim glow of the bedside lamp to illuminate the room.

“You know,” Leo starts, looking up at the ceiling. “I don’t think you ever really told me about this kind of stuff.” 

“This kind of stuff?” Jason asks, sitting on the edge of his bed. He leans his elbows on his thighs and chooses to look at the switched-off TV rather than Leo’s eyes. 

“Yeah,” Leo says. “The war and quests, and all that. And I get why! I mean, it seems really, dunno, hard on you. Haha wow, I’m really making a mess of this. I dunno, it just seems like it affects you a lot.” 

Jason’s shoulders slump.

He doesn’t want to admit it to himself either, but the war and life at Camp Jupiter branded and burned him into who he is today. It’s horrifying. Jason doesn’t know how to do anything other than fight. Fight, kill, look down at his hands and wish they’d been made to be held rather than destroy, repeat. Jason wishes he was made for something else, something that isn’t a weapon or a tool for the gods to save themselves.

In our lives, everything that has been done to us leaves its fingerprint. Every word that has been said to us, every horrible act, pushes and sculpts us into who we are now. For Jason, his mother’s abandonment wasn’t just a fingerprint, it was like that absence left a hole where something else should be. And then being raised by wolves, living as a soldier, it destroyed the parts of him he so desperately wants now; when you’re sad, when you cry, all your raining tears drain into a bucket in your mind where they’re stored and then emptied, whatever you subconsciously decide. Jason’s got a hole in the bucket. Nothing leaves him, nothing is collected and tidied and poured out of his heart because all of it just streams out and back to him. Jason is a legionnaire first and foremost. Not a person. A person knows where to put all this down, in a place other than their sword.

In a way, the killing blow for Krios was the killing blow for him too. 

“I...I guess it does sometimes,” Jason says. Leo looks at him curiously, and in a moment of fear Jason realizes he’s looking at him like he’s a machine. Like Jason’s just another thing he needs to inspect and figure out and fix.

They are both slaves to their own natures. 

Jason will always be the paranoid soldier, murderer, and Leo will always be the caring but aloof-at-times genius; they're both like their fathers, in those respects. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” Leo asks softly like Jason’s a scared animal. “I don’t—I don’t want you to suffer, you know? I mean, it’s been two years, Jay, and that stuff it’s, it’s traumatic. You shouldn’t have to go through it alone.” 

“And you should?” Jason snaps. He immediately regrets it.

“What?” Leo asks, confused. 

“You don’t ever talk to me about these things either,” Jason says. “And, I mean, we’re best friends, right? Do you not trust me with this?” 

Jason’s freaking out. He doesn’t want Leo to see him for what he really is, but Leo already does. It’s too late. He’s so scared, so scared that when Leo looks at him he’ll see the same thing that Jason sees, a murderer.

But Jason’s not a murderer.

He’s a kid. He’s a seventeen year old kid who had to live through some horrible, horrible, things but he doesn’t realize that. He knows it’s horrible but he thinks that’s all there is for him.

It isn’t. 

It really isn’t.

He doesn’t know this yet.

“Jay, calm down,” Leo says, sitting up. He looks genuinely concerned and Jason hates it. Jason hates how weak it makes him feel but he can’t help but crave it; it’s a double-edged sword. He wants to be vulnerable but he doesn’t want the price of it, the judgment he thinks it’ll bring. 

Jason doesn’t realize that Leo would love him regardless.

“I’m fine,” he says. “The war, it—it wasn’t a big deal. I’m okay.” 

Leo stands and moves to Jason’s bed. Jason nearly recoils, but he decides to let him sit next to him. 

“I’m okay,” he repeats. 

“Okay,” Leo replies, facing Jason. His eyes are full of kindness and Jason can’t take it. 

“It was just hard to watch,” Jason insists. “Watching everyone else die, and I didn’t—didn’t really know them. But…”

Leo just nods and listens.

“I’m okay. It’s been two years.” 

Leo frowns, only slightly, but Jason catches it. 

“I think I’m just stressed,” Jason deflects. 

“About what?”

“Piper,” Jason replies. “The chance we have of finding her is...next to none, and the chance we have of finding her _alive_ is even slimmer.”

Jason swallows thickly.

“We have no prophecy. No help. It’s highly likely we’ll fail, no matter what we do.” 

“So what? We should just give up?” Leo snaps. 

“No, no,” Jason insists. “I...I don’t want to give up on her. But at the same time, we have to accept this and you…”

Leo huffs. “You don’t think I realize how dangerous it is. Or exactly how likely it is that she’s dead, or dying.” 

Jason regrets saying it. But Leo’s not looking at him like he’s given up, now that he’s forced to face these facts, only like he’s even more determined. Leo has always been something unpredictable, out of control.

“Jason, that doesn’t matter,” Leo says. “It doesn’t change the fact that I’m not going to just leave her to the wolves—”  
It’s a common expression but it stings. 

Something in Leo's eyes ignites and it's unlike anything Jason's ever felt before.

“—or just head on home. If she’s alive and fine, we’ll take her home. If she’s hurt, we’ll give her some ambrosia and kill whatever monster hurt her. If she’s—if she’s dead...we’ll give her a proper burial.” 

Leo clenches his jaw and blinks, and in the faint lamplight, Jason can see his chipped-glass eyes. But there's something behind it. 

An odd feeling surrounds Leo and it makes Jason's skin crawl.

“We’ll give her a proper burial, and send whatever killed her to Tartarus,” Leo continues. “We’ll do whatever we can. I’ll do anything. Anything for her to get what she deserves.” 

Jason can hear Leo's unsaid words. _What she deserves, and what I don’t—justice, a life, a real one._

There’s something surrounding Leo that makes Jason feel like he should run, fly, get away from him; every hair on the back of his neck is standing up and it’s nothing like Jason’s ever felt from Leo. It makes him curious. Jason’s been raised to be a leader—he can spot potential, power from a mile away. What’s surrounding Leo, this raging determination is powerful. It feels like looking into a hurricane and Leo’s not even doing anything, just sitting and talking. 

“But that doesn’t change how I feel,” Leo says. “She’s alive. Whatever happened to her, we can fix it.”

Jason doesn’t say anything, just stares at Leo. He’s not even looking at him as he talks, just glaring off into the distance. It’s an odd kind of focus, and Jason catalogs it.

So this is what Leo looks like when he’s set his mind on something, really set his mind. 

It’s admirable and terrifying all at once.

“Yeah,” Jason agrees. “We’ll fix it.” 

Leo smiles and it breaks the illusion, as if all that anger wasn’t there in the first place.

“No need to be stressed, Jay,” he says. “We’ve got this. It’s Piper, after all.” 

_It’s Piper, who I’d do anything for_ , Jason hears. And Leo’s Leo, someone Jason would do anything for. The two of them are the only people Jason hasn’t really pushed away yet. 

He can’t lose them.

///

Nightmares plague Jason’s sleep. In the past year, they’ve begun to fade, only once every couple of days, but the adrenaline from tonight and the dead gorgon must have been too much of a reminder of the past. 

In the dream, he’s talking to Octavian, just like he did before the war. It’s a memory. 

Jason hates the dreams that involve memories.

The two of them used to be roommates, back when Jason wasn’t a leader and didn’t quite know how to think for himself yet. 

It was depressing, in its own way. Jason wishes he’d never had to see Octavian, really see him; it would have been easier to despise him if he didn’t.

Octavian always looked at things like he wanted to split them in two, like he wanted to crack your skull in half just to see what would happen. Just to see what would make you tick. 

He found the chinks in Jason’s armor within a week, but he didn’t do anything with them; you could say whatever you wanted about Octavian, but everyone knew he was clever, sharp. Smiles too wide and eyes too cold. But Octavian’s just a boy. They’re both just boys, no matter how much divinity courses through their veins.

In the dream, Octavian tosses and turns and whimpers in his sleep, like a child. He’s crying, Jason realizes. 

Jason gets out of bed quietly, moving across the room to wake the other boy. Like this, he looks peaceful almost. Not as deadly, power-hungry. Softer.

In the dream, Jason stands over the other boy, reaching out with his right hand to shake him awake.

In the dream, Octavian wakes, wide-eyed and crazed, and puts Jason into an arm lock on reflex. Jason’s taken off guard and doesn’t do anything.

In the dream, Octavian doesn’t let go.

“What are you doing,” he hisses. 

Jason swallows thickly. 

“I was worried about you,” he lies. Octavian releases his arm with a laugh. Jason takes a step back as the other boy shakes. He’s not sure if Octavian’s laughing or still crying.

He looks up and smiles sharply at Jason.

“Come on, Jason,” he says, “we both know better than that.”

Jason just stares at Octavian. He’s never quite known what to do around him.

“Yeah, okay,” Jason replies. “I’m going back to sleep.”

The memory changes to dream, Jason and Octavian now sitting on the roof of the barracks.

Octavian’s smoking and Jason could get him in trouble for it, but he never bothers; Octavian would just turn things around and make it worse for him if he tried. 

The other boy pulls the bone-white cigarette from his mouth as tendrils of smoke curl around his mouth and outwards, towards Jason. 

“So you’re looking for someone, hmm?” Octavian asks. There’s a hint of amusement in his voice that gets under Jason’s skin. 

Jason hesitates.

“What do you want?” he asks gruffly. 

Octavian smiles his sharp horrible smile and turns to face Jason with a noose around his neck. It doesn’t faze Jason; it did the first time, but this is a dream. And when Jason looks down at his own body to see it wearing the same ichor and blood-spattered armor he wore when he fought Krios, he isn’t surprised either, just sad. He doesn’t want to remember. 

He really doesn’t want to remember.

“Does it always have to be about what I want?” Octavian pouts. “I still owe you one, you know. Let’s cut a deal.” 

Octavian, the devil. Octavian, the teenage boy. Octavian, the boy who couldn’t take it all. Jason will never know what to make of him. 

“No. I wouldn’t trust you to do it right.” 

“Do what right?”

“Your end of the deal,” Jason replies. “You’re always twisting everything.”

Octavian smiles lazily. “But I’ve never lied to you. Come on, Jason, Jason the wolf in lamb’s clothing, you know that I only ever told you the truth.” 

Jason wants to strangle him.

“You just didn’t want to hear it.” 

Octavian removes his noose made of light and places it on Jason’s shoulders. Jason doesn’t do anything but glare at him. 

“I never know what you’re talking about.” 

Jason's shoulders begin to slump from the weight of it. His very own killing blow. 

Octavian tightens it, a little bit. “You do. Too well, I think; that’s why you hate me. Because I can see you for what you really are.” 

Octavian leans closer and puts his face next to Jason’s ear, whispering, “A killer.”

Jason shoves the other boy as his face suddenly morphs into Leo’s.

“Jay?” 

In the dream, Leo’s dying. 

In the dream, Leo’s dying and Jason’s standing in a puddle of blood. Leo’s got a ram’s horn sticking out of his chest and it’s Jason’s fault. 

In the dream, Jason knows it’s his fault. Piper stands next to Leo.

“You let us die,” she says. 

The life drains from their faces until they’re dead, they’re dying, Jason couldn’t solve anything. It’s not real but he doesn’t know that.

There’s a part of Jason that will always make him value himself based on how useful he is. To him, the only thing that matters is if he can save his friends when it counts. He’s a soldier after all, a soldier and nothing more, and if he can’t be useful what’s the point?

Piper falls to the ground and Jason can’t move.

Leo falls to the ground and Jason is rooted to the spot. 

Piper and Leo are dead and he couldn’t do anything about it.

There’s blood, everywhere, up to Jason’s knees and then to his shoulders and he’s drowning in it.

This is his fault.

This is all his fault.

When he wakes up, tears are streaming down his face. 

He doesn’t sleep for the rest of the night.

///

Jason’s been driving for the past seven hours, and they’re just now crossing the border from Kentucky to Tennessee. The highway’s gotten thinner, two lanes, with small houses and farms scattered on its sides. The greenery is unlike anything Jason’s seen before, much different from the forests of Northern California and the thick, hardwood forests of New York. 

Leo seems amazed by it too. When he’s not singing along to the radio or sketching away, he’s staring out the window and watching as trees fly by. Jason remembers Leo telling him he was from Texas, and although Jason’s sure there are some forests in Texas he’s not really sure which part Leo was from. 

Leo hardly ever talks about his life before camp.

The country roads are quiet, so Jason can take his eyes off the highway for a bit to watch Leo. His hair’s fluffy and curly, a bit long and it falls in front of his eyes every once in a while. Jason also notices that Leo will chew on his pens when he’s thinking hard about something, and it’s cute.

Jason smiles absentmindedly as he watches the other boy stare out the window.

He could get used to this.

///

They stop in Franklin, Tennessee, or the last place they knew Piper was at. It’s a large town with victorian architecture and brick buildings that you’d see in a movie, in a poster, not the kind you’d expect to see in real life.

They’re both restless. Leo’s been cooped up in the car all day and Jason’s been staring at the road all day and the occasional and fleeing feeling that someone’s watching them isn’t doing anything to help. Jason can’t remember how many times he’s readjusted the back mirror to check for a monster, a harpy, a cyclops walking along the side of the road but there’s been nothing. 

Nothing but the eerie, eerie feeling.

They check into a Super 8 and eat vending machine food for dinner because they’re both oddly tired. Leo’s been yawning all day and Jason’s been counting it, one, two, three, forty-six times in thirteen hours. 

As soon as they get into their room, Jason takes his shoes off and flops onto the bed despite how dirty it probably is.

“I never knew licorice could taste so good,” Leo hums, sitting on his bed.

Jason turns towards him.

“I thought you hated licorice?”

“I do, but, like ‘m so hungry, you know?” 

Jason nods. “Yeah.”

Leo turns to face the wall as Jason sits up.

Jason peers at the other boy.

“What are you staring at the wall for?”

“Aren’t you going to change?”

Jason folds the covers back so he can slide into the bed.

“Nah,” he replies. “Didn’t exactly leave the car so these are pretty clean.”

Leo turns around and lays on his stomach, feet kicking up and resting above his hips.

“Hmm true,” he says. “So hey, what do you think the plan’s going to be tomorrow?”

Jason rubs at his eyes as he gazes at Leo. His hair is messy, as usual, and his face is softer, less energetic than it usually is. 

He catches himself staring and clears his throat.

“We should just wander around town, really,” he says. “If Piper and Katie were taken around here then if we just walk around letting monsters now we’re fresh meat that could attract whatever took them.”

Leo raises his eyebrows in disbelief. 

“So you’re saying we are the bait.”

“Yeah.”

Leo laughs suddenly and turns onto his back, placing his hands on his chest.

“Oh this is going to be great,” he smiles crookedly at Jason and Jason can feel his heart beating in his chest.

“Of course,” Jason smiles in return. 

“Anything else, Sparky? Or is that all we’re doing?”

Jason frowns as he remembers the eyes.

That feeling that’s been following them since the gorgon.

“I think something’s following us,” he says quietly.

“How do you know?” Leo frowns.

The bashed head, the crying gorgon...something wasn’t right.

“There’s this feeling, every once in a while. A presence,” Jason replies. “Just every once in a while, when I’m driving, it’s like I can feel its eyes burning into my back. The same thing happened when we found that gorgon.”

Jason can see Leo swallow thickly.

“So whatever killed it could be coming after us now,” Leo states.

“Maybe. But at the same time, why wait this long? It’s had plenty of opportunities.”

Leo and Jason had been alone on the open roads for long stretches of time, a perfect opportunity for a monster to latch onto their car and kill them. Yet whatever it was, it didn’t. 

Could it have been Jason’s imagination?

“It could be toying with us,” Leo points out.

“Gods, Leo, don’t jinx it.”

“Sorry,” Leo grimaces.

Jason can’t feel it anymore. Maybe it was his imagination. 

“No, it’s fine I’m just—“

“—stressed,” Leo finishes for him.

Jason nods and stares at the ceiling.

“I’m worried about you,” Leo says suddenly. When Jason turns to look him in the eyes, he can see it in the way they’ve darkened, in their creasing corners.

“I’ll be fine,” Jason says. “Focus that on Piper, not me.”

Leo opens his mouth to say something, then doesn’t. He just watches Jason watch him.

“Okay,” he says. 

Jason can tell he doesn’t mean it.

“I’m going to go to bed,” Jason says. 

“Yeah, yeah for sure.”

Leo turns out his light and the room is completely dark.

Jason closes his eyes, but sleep doesn’t come for hours.

///

**Author's Note:**

> hope u guys liked it!! plz leave comments n kudos and if you want, follow me on tumblr @achillesep :)  
> also there r going to be more chapters i just don’t know how to make it show that rn  
> n big thank u to @ghostfires for beta reading this !!! :)


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